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Sam Kieth
Unpublished gems.
You know what they say about a guy that draws big feet...
STUFFOGRAPHY
A chronological listing of Sam's comic, card, and film work.


INTERVIEWS
Sam speaks about life, The Maxx, and his plans for the future.


WRITINGS
Sam Stories available only on the Web.

"Megan: Issue 3"
by Sam Kieth
(Originally posted to the Outback mailing list, September 1998; reformatted by Chris Caughey)

Int. - Megan's house - Long shot of Gramps in NANA's bedroom, late afternoon, the next day
Gramps is talking to Nana.

NANA
I don't know who's gonna be cooking for me...

GRAMPS
We've already been over that.
Megan can handle breakfast and lunch, and Aunt Mabel will be over three times a week for...

NANA
What about Yahtzee?

GRAMPS
For Yahtzee too...

Gramps walks into kitchen and up stairs with SUITCASE in hand.

GRAMPS
Megan?

GRAMPS (Cont)
Megan, honey-- the taxi's here...

Gramps continues up stairs, stops as he sees "KEEP OUT--GO AWAY" SIGN tied to railing.
Sighing, he turns, goes back down.

Gramps in kitchen, opens back door, looks up toward stairs.

GRAMPS
Goodbye.

Ext. - Megan's house - driveway
Gramps approaches TAXI, mumbling under his breath.

GRAMPS (whispers)
Goodbye.

Int. - Megan's room, shot through BEDROOM'S BALCONY railing as taxi pulls away

PULL BACK through Megan's window, drift over to left and down across wall.

RACK FOCUS on Megan's fingers in foreground, pulling TAPE out of CASSETTE.

Megan pulls last of tape out of empty cassette, pauses, and throws it on floor.

Megan grabs ANOTHER TAPE and starts pulling tape out of cassette again.

PAN DOWN AND BACK to reveal a MOUNTAIN OF TAPE AND CASSETTES that Megan is sitting in, spread across the floor.

Ext. Megan's house - later that night

Int. Megan's house - Long Shot of Megan in Nana's bedroom - later that night
Megan is standing alone by Nana's bed.

NANA
My poor legs hurt so bad.
It's just heck when you can't take care of yourself anymore.
I know you don't want to be with a sick old lady like me.
'Specially when you'd rather look at dirty pictures.

MED. SHOT OF MEGAN, wide-eyed in surprise.

NANA
That's right. That Library Lady called.
Are you trying to kill me with stunts like that?
The doctor says you're the reason I'm so sick-- you and your little games.
What did I do to make you hate me so?

EXTREME CLOSE-UP of Megan.

NANA
I'll tell you one thing-- you just don't wanna grow up.
I think there's something really evil inside of you. I sure can't trust you.
I'd send you away, but then who'd take care of me?

Megan sulks up the stairs.

NANA
Now get me my Yahtzee and my cornflakes. And don't forget the bedpan!
And one more thing: Gramps said you're to stay in your room, and if we ever catch you in that library again, you're out of here once and for all!

Ext.- Megan's house - outside bedroom window - next morning
Megan drops from ROPE attached to her balcony.

MEGAN (VO)
With an ultimatum like that, there was only one thing left to do...

Ext. - in front of library - day
THREE BOYS are beating up Spike as Megan approaches.

MEGAN (VO)
Great. More bullies. Please don't pick on me, please don't pick on me, please don't--

Boys see Megan.

BOY #1
C'mon man, let's get outta here.

BOY #2
Wait-- we can take her!

BOY #1
Yeah-- right--

Boys run away. Spike has been stuffed in GARBAGE CAN.

MEGAN
Where's that other dork you hang out with?

Spike stumbles out of garbage can in tears.

SPIKE
The peckerhead moved away.

SPIKE (CONT)
How come those kids ran away from you?

Megan looks down, smiles.

MEGAN
Maybe I'm bigger. What's your name, squirt?

Megan helps Spike up.

SPIKE
Spike...

SPIKE (CONT)
I don't have to tell you.

MEGAN
You just did, dork.
I can't believe I just saved your miserable butt.

Spike angrily pushes Megan away, while she holds his shirttail.

SPIKE
Get away from me, you're crazy!
That red-haired girl told me all about you!
You listen to weird old music and ignore all us kids...

Spike grabs his shirttail back.

SPIKE
Besides, I don't need any stinkin' girl's help!
Anyways, I'm the one that're supposed to be pickin' on you!

Spike runs away.

SPIKE
You'll give me friggin' cooties!

Megan watches Spike run off.

MEGAN (vO)
Just when you think you have somebody all figured out...

Int. - library TABLE next to window - later that day
SHOT OF MEGAN daydreaming out window, wearing headphones as Teacher approaches in foreground.

MEGAN (vo Cont)
...they go and surprise you.

MEGAN (VO CONT)
This is kinda cool. I taped the soundtrack to the movie so I can hear it whenever I want.

PROJECTOR through headphones
Last night I dreamt I went to Manderly again.
It seemed to me I stood by the iron gate leading to the drive...

Teacher pulls headphones off Megan's head.

Teacher leans in close to Megan, squeezing her arm firmly.

TEACHER (whispers)
...We need to talk.

Teacher grabs Megan by both shoulders.

Beat.

MEGAN
What?!?

TEACHER
I think you know what.
Let's sit down over there.

Int. - LIBRARY - short time later
LONG SLOW TRACK down long rows of books.

TEACHER
You know, Megan, you're not fooling anybody.
It's no secret what you've been up to.
It's OK, but I just think we should talk. Are you ready to talk about it?

MEGAN
I don't like to talk about stuff.

TEACHER
Well, I know if I were your age, and my grandpa left home to get cancer treatments, I'd want to share my feelings with someone.
I think you need to share.

MEGAN
I'm not feeling nothin'-- it's no big deal.
Everything's fine.

TEACHER
You're a bad liar, Megan.
I think you're angry. I think all your energy goes toward holding all that anger inside.
I think, in your heart, you know you're a little too old to be angry at someone who can't help leaving you.

MEGAN
Lemme go-- you're hurting my arm.

TEACHER
I'm not holding your arm.

MEGAN
Oh... yeah...

TEACHER
C'mon, honey, just open up and let down. It'll feel good to let it all out.

MEGAN
Please don't do this. Just go away.

TEACHER
I'm not going away until you share what's going on inside you.

TEACHER (Cont)
...Now open up, dammit!

Teacher catches herself, sighs.

Beat.

TEACHER (CONT)
Actually, Megan, I think you might want to spend less time absorbed in the past, and think more about the vibes you're putting out to the rest of us.

Teacher leans closer to Megan.

TEACHER (CONT)
You're laying some pretty heavy trips on the people who love you, don't you think?

MEGAN (VO)
Actually, I don't give a crap.
I didn't ask to be loved by anybody. I didn't ask to be born!
But there's no way I'm telling her that.
Like she'd care, anyway...

Teacher leans in closer still, inches from Megan's crying face.

TEACHER (whispers)
C'mon, honey. Stay with that feeling.
Don't hide your anger, but don't give in to it...

TEACHER (CONT)
Megan, I want you to visualize your seeds of anger growing into pretty little daisies of love and compassion.
Can you do that?

Library Lady appears, towering over them, hands on her hips.

LIBRARY LADY
Well, with the manure you're giving her...

TEACHER (frostily)
I'd really appreciate it if you'd back off.
I am a trained professional, after all.

LIBRARY LADY
Hey-- you don't even have a B.A. in Social Work.
Leave her be, for heaven's sake.
Maybe some of us don't need to spill ourselves out all over the floor.
And what is this crap about daisies?

TEACHER
I wouldn't expect someone of your generation to understand what Megan and I are going through...

LIBRARY LADY
Oh, did your dad ditch you, too?

MEGAN
He didn't DITCH ME!

Megan gets up, desperately runs out of the library..

Int. - library - overstuffed chair - later that day
Megan hugs her knees, constricted in a tight ball, trying to hide away from everything and everybody.
One of the two boys that bully her, Spike, is again threatening to pour Coke on her head.

MEGAN (VO)
I can't escape.
Great-- not him, too!
With his buddy gone, I thought he'd lay off, especially after I saved his butt.
Dang it-- I just can't take it any more!!!

Megan peers up at boy menacingly as we ZOOM IN on her "no-bull" expression.

MEGAN
Alright, you little turkey! Let's go!!

LOOKING DOWN as Megan dunks Spike's head directly into a toilet, holding him upside down.

CLOSER on Spike's shoulders, his head disappearing into bowl.

SPIKE
It don't count-- my head ain't touching water.

EXTREME CLOSE-UP, PROFILE, on Megan's face as she holds his ankles, looking down at him.

MEGAN
Well, if you can't meet the water...

EXTERIOR SHOT OF BATHROOM STALL as we hear flushing of toilet.

INTERIOR OF STALL as Megan drops Spike's wet body to floor; Megan walks away in
foreground.

SPIKE
Wow-- you're really strong for a girl. Hey, wait up--

Megan exits bathroom door disgusted, with Spike's voice trailing from behind.

SPIKE
Cool! Hey...You wanna join my gang?

Door slams behind her.

Int. - movie room - later that day
Megan is seated at table, fiddling with projector cord as she watches the movie yet again.

MEGAN (VO)
I can't believe this is the last soccer practice.
After today, I may never see them again.
If I had any guts, I'd go talk to them right now.

PROJECTOR
Last night I dreamed of...

MEGAN (VO)
I feel guilty for thinking like this, but this movie does drone on sometimes.

Megan unplugs projector.

Megan turns on light in movie room. She sees that the soccer girls have left behind an 8-TRACK TAPE PLAYER, SOME 8-TRACK TAPES, AND A SOCCER BALL, all sitting on a chair by the door.

MEGAN (VO CONT)
Oh great. My "buddies" must've been here.
Looks like they left their crap, too.
Megan picks up 8-track player and stares absent-mindedly out the window.

MEGAN (VO CONT)
I can't believe 8-tracks are gonna replace cassettes. That's so lame.

MED. SHOT of Megan sitting at table, staring at 8-track player with a tape already stuck in the top.

Beat.

MEGAN (VO CONT)
Why can't I feel nothin'?

CLOSE-UP on Megan's face with 8-track in foreground.

MEGAN (VO CONT)
I'm just goin' along like everything's hunky-dory.
(pause) I wonder why I can't get through Rebecca any more.

MEGAN (VO CONT)
Dammit-- why can't I even hold a simple thought!!!
I must be pretty screwed up, not to be feeling something by now.
But I feel nothin'-- I there's nothing...

MEGAN (VO CONT)
Everything's just..... numb.

MEGAN (VO CONT)
I bet gramps hates me. I would.
It's been two weeks now... Geez-- these 8-tracks even look cheap!

MEGAN (VO CONT)
Why didn't I go out and just say goodbye?
He knows I'll never see him again.
Why didn't I talk to his pathetic lying lardass when I had the chance?

Back to MED. SHOT of Megan sitting at table, pulling 8-track player closer to her, looking to see which tape is inside.

MEGAN (VO CONT)
I wish there was a TV in here.
Megan looks at tape.

MEGAN (VO CONT)
What's this?

CLOSE-UP on CARPENTERS 8-TRACK TAPE.

Megan groans.

[THERE'S A BRIEF SCENE IN THE FIRST 20 PAGES WHERE I ADDED GRAMPS LIKING A DOPY CARPENTERS SONG, AND MEGAN IS EMBARRASSED FOR HIM. - sam]

Back to CLOSE-UP of Megan staring at tape in player; she sits player back on tape.

MEGAN (VO CONT)
Figures. The soccer fools and Gramps would get along great.

CLOSER on Megan's face. Her eyes shift around room, making sure she's alone.

Megan slides her headphones over her ears, pulls out the end of her headphones and prepares to insert the tip into the 8-track's jack.

MEGAN (VO CONT)
I can't believe I'm gonna do this...

CLOSER as she inserts headphones into jack.

MEGAN (VO CONT)
I've truly hit rock bottom...

MED. SHOT: Megan shifts her eyes uncomfortably at the corny music pumping through the headphones.

CUT TO: HALLWAY OUTSIDE MOVIE ROOM DOOR, TO SHOW BRIEF PASSAGE OF TIME

BACK TO: INT. MOVIE ROOM - SHORT TIME LATER

CLOSER on Megan, whose eyes begin to moisten as she listens.

Megan turns as she feels a hand on her shoulder.

The Soccer Queen crosses in front of her and sits down next to her.

Megan seems to melt into the taller, stronger woman's arms.

The Queen hugs her, almost maternally, as we begin a SLOW PAN around their embracing figures.

The whole scene is very softly lit, in slow motion, and super-subjective.
As we continue spinning a complete 360, we finish back on Megan's face buried in the Soccer Queen's arms,

far beyond tears...

nose running...

completely regressed in the Soccer Queen's motherly embrace.

The Soccer Queen then dissolves into Megan's mother.(mentioned in the opening, who died when Megan was little) As Megan melts into her mothers arms, she hears the Soccer Queen's voice escape from her mother's lips...

SOCCER QUEEN (whispers)
Shhh... It's OK.

[i don't know if i like this queen into mother thing. it was in the original outline, i took it out, them replaced it. does it seem too clunky? - sam]

Ext. - LOOKING IN WINDOW OUTSIDE MOVIE ROOM
Blurry figure in foreground taps on window from outside, bringing Megan back to reality. We see Megan hugging the 8-track, having fallen asleep with her headphones on.
The color drains from Megan's face as she stares in shock at the real Soccer Queen, who is staring in through the window at her.

CUT TO: MOVIE ROOM
SHOT OF SOCCER QUEEN saying something to Megan through the glass.

MEGAN
Huh?

Megan pulls closer to the window and clumsily pulls the 8-track off the table onto the floor, adding to her panic.

MEGAN
Aw shoot!

CUT TO: HALLWAY - CLOSER on the Soccer Queen, who's more impatient than ever for Megan to hear her.

CUT TO: MOVIE ROOM - Megan's worried face, watching Soccer Queen.

MEGAN (VO)
What's she saying?

EXTREME CLOSE-UP on Queen's lips.

MEGAN (VO CONT)
She's saying something special, just for my ears.

CLOSE-UP of Megan's frustrated face.

MEGAN (VO CONT)
And I can't understand her!

CUT TO: window outside movie room
Over Soccer Queen's shoulder, we see Megan's awestruck face.

MEGAN (VO CONT)
Then I am finally able to hear her words to me...

MEGAN (VO CONT)
...her secret message...

MEGAN (VO CONT)
...just for me!

SOCCER QUEEN
I'm in a hurry, squirt! Grab the 8-track! We gotta go!

Megan spastically grabs the 8-track, holding it to the window.
Soccer Queen gives her a "thumbs-up" and smiles as if Megan is retarded.

Back to Megan, grinning like an idiot.

MEGAN (VO)
She smiled at me. Heh...

Soccer Queen points to the exit just outside the movie room.

MEGAN (VO CONT)
Oh yeah. Duh...

Megan rushes to the exit, but it's locked. Megan is close to tears in frustration.

MEGAN (VO CONT)
It's glued shut! I mean... locked!

Megan sags to her knees against the window.

MEGAN (VO CONT)
I have failed you, my Queen.
Megan hugs the glass, pressing her fingers to meet the queen's. So close...
The Queen raps on the glass, breaking Megan's reverie again.

SOCCER QUEEN
Hey. It's just an 8-track. Meet me at the sidewalk out front, OK?

Megan clutches the 8-track player to her chest and races around the corner, up the stairs, past the kiwi lady, and right toward the...

...evil door, which stops her cold.

CLOSE-UP on Megan's sweating face, hair plastered to head, as she stands there, thwarted.

Megan plasters herself against a near-by window, seeing the Queen out front, 50' from her, waiting.

Due to the reflections on the glass, Megan is not visible to the Queen.

CUT TO: Soccer Queen, who turns away from window towards a gaggle of soccer girls beckoning her from a CONVERTIBLE.

HEATHER
C'mon, let's go!

SOCCER QUEEN
But I gotta get the 8-track...

RED
Who cares? We're gonna be late!

Soccer Queen looks at her watch, then toward the LIBRARY, impatiently.

SOCCER QUEEN
Where is she?

Int. - window next to evil door
Megan pounds desperately on window.

MEGAN
WAIT!!! Wait! I'm here! Come inside, pleeeease!!!!

Ext. - library front by soccer girls
Soccer Queen sighs and turns away from library, towards her friends.

SOCCER QUEEN
Yeah, let's go. She can keep it.

Soccer Queen's LEATHER HAIR BARRETTE accidentally falls to the ground as she gets into the car.

Int. - window by evil door
Megan bolts from window toward back exit. It seems to take forever as she reaches the exit, runs out the back door, and makes her way to the front.

Megan loses her balance and skids up to the spot where the soccer girls' car had been parked. The 8-track player falls and breaks into shards.

MEGAN'S POV: Car disappears down road.

CLOSER on Megan's face as she watches the car disappear.

MED. SHOT: Megan quietly notices the barrette lying on the ground. She picks it up, looking at it, and wipes her nose.

Megan gets up, and sadly puts the barrette into her pocket.

CAMERA PULLS DOWN SLIGHTLY, revealing the chunks of 8-track player lying in foreground as Megan slowly walks back into the library (entrance in background).

As Megan's tiny form prepares to enter library...

...she is met by the librarian who walks to meet her, seeming to offer a sympathetic hand...

...but hands her a PAPER BAG instead.

Megan pauses, looks back at the splintered 8-track on the ground, slowly grabs bag from the librarian, and turns around, headed back toward the mess she made with the bag.

[End of Issue 3]

The Maxxis ™ and © Sam Kieth.
Dwellers of the Outback created and maintained by Chris Caughey.
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